Stewie Griffin
Stewart "Stewie" Gilligan Griffin is the flamboyant and eccentric one year old infant of Peter and Lois Griffin. Stewie, equipped with his teddy bear, Rupert and his laser gun, has, on several occasions, almost single handedly taken over the world and he seems to be obsessed with world domination and matricide. In The Real Live Griffins, he was played by Ashley Olsen. Although he has remained physically one year old since "Chitty Chitty Death Bang", mentally he seems much older, even proclaiming in "I Never Met the Dead Man" to be shooting on a fifth grade level. Biography Stewie is well-spoken, with an advanced vocabulary, an upper-class British accent and an ambiguous sexual orientation. He refers to Peter often as 'The Fat man' and his mother by her given name, Lois. Seth MacFarlane has described him as "an evil Rex Harrison". Stewie is constantly plotting ways to kill his mother, Lois, apparently holding a grudge against her because of his nine-month stay in her "ovarian Bastille." He shares his secrets with his confidant (who is also his teddy bear) Rupert. Stewie often speaks from the standpoint of a much older person, saying such things as "What is it that you children are into nowadays?" Stewie creates an alter ego, Karina Smirnoff, to get on the American version of Jolly Farm Revue in "Go, Stewie, Go!". On the show, Stewie engages in extreme violent or criminal acts, including robbery, carjacking, loan sharking, forgery, and killing off many minor characters. The characters he kills off are for reasons such as anger, jealousy, and grudges he holds. Stewie's mastery of physics, mechanical engineering, and firearms are at a level of science fiction. He has constructed advanced fighter-jets, a mind control device, a weather control device, robots, a time machine, a shrinking pod, a teleportation device, and more. Stewie employs these to deal with the stresses of infant life (such as teething pain, and his hatred of broccoli) or to kill his mother. Stewie also shows infant-like tendencies such as pretending his tryke is an actual vehicle. Stewie's ability to move objects of greater weight than himself is not surprising to other characters, nor is his ability to perform martial arts or retrieve firearms from hammerspace. In "Dog Gone", after he made jokes about Brian killing a dog, Brian asks him how he'd feel if he had killed another baby. He merely replied by telling him he's killed seven, acting as if it was no big deal. He also tries to get children to drink poison. In Love Thy Trophy his foster siblings who are each of different races asked him if he wanted to lay down and complete their people rainbow and he suggested that they play "Drink the Stuff Under the Sink" instead. In Emission Impossible he went to Lois in his Peter Bot and told Chris and Meg to drink the anti freeze in the garage. Stewie himself has exhibited some bisexual tendencies, but has thus far only been involved romantically with females. His hobbies include reading, inventing, and plotting. It has been implied that Stewie, like his mother, has a masochistic personality. This was revealed in one episode when Lois spanked Stewie for destroying her pearl necklace. Stewie later confided to Rupert that he found that he enjoyed suffering from such pain, and unsuccessfully went out of his way to provoke Lois several times in the episode into spanking him again. He even had a day dream in which he was tortured by Lois, who was clad in a dominatrix outfit. Stewie has also demonstrated exhibitionist tendencies. In "The Former Life of Brian", when Brian's son Dylan moved in to the Griffin household, Stewie pranced around Dylan naked, inviting him to a "tea party." He also told Dylan to take his clothes off. In "McStroke", he framed Connie DiMico at her high school for inappropriately kissing him by stripping naked. After Connie was arrested, Stewie defiantly walked out of the school buck naked in front of all the students. Early in the series he was portrayed as being completely obsessed with world domination and killing Lois. He still wants to kill Lois and take over the world but those traits have taken a back seat and now he tends to be the comic relief making a lot of cracks about celebrities and overall seems more casual and more calm then he used to be, although in select episodes Stewie has exhibited some of his more sociopathic traits, such as aggressively shooting Brian in the leg in "Back to the Pilot". In "Stewie Loves Lois", Stewie's favorite meal is cut green beans, Atkins friendly potato sticks arranged in order of size, from large to small, and a Scooby-Doo yogurt with Shaggy's eyes scratched out. In the "Pilot Pitch", his now-yellow shirt was purple and his now-red overalls were green. In "New Kidney in Town" and "Business Guy" he says he wants to be a race-car driver. In "And I'm Joyce Kinney" it's hinted that Peter may not be Stewie's biological father, as there's a scene in Lois' porno movie Quest for Fur in which Lois was about to have sex with a man that looked a lot like Stewie. Understanding Stewie Much confusion has occurred over whether or not the family can understand Stewie's speech, especially given his tendency towards homicidal remarks. The Griffins appear to ignore most of what Stewie says, though on occasion they have responded to his speech, but they could only be responding to his facial expressions or body language (also could just be selective hearing, like they never really hear what he is saying except on certain parts). This has been referred in "E. Peterbus Unum" as a meta-joke. The end of the episode reveals it actually being a historical video, projected to a group of students in the future. When the presenter asks if there are any questions, one of the students responds with "I don't get it. So.... like... can the family understand the baby or... what's the deal with that?" The other students are seen nodding in agreement with the apparent confusion. Brian and Jillian are the only adults that seem to fully understand what he's saying; however there have been occasions when other characters have evidently understood him: "Death Has a Shadow" *'Lois': Stewie, why don't you play in the other room? *'Stewie': Why don't you BURN IN HELL?!! *'Lois': No dessert for you young man. "Chitty Chitty Death Bang" *'Stewie': Victory is mine! *'Lois': Yes, and this cake is yours, too. "Mind Over Murder" *'Stewie': Burn in hell! *'Lois': Hell... hell has fire. "The Son Also Draws" *'Stewie: '''Stupid greedy savages. *'Lois: Stewie, that's a terrible thing to say. "Brian in Love" :(Stewie is being potty trained by Peter) *'''Stewie: Why don't you put your hands right there? It'll help me relax. *'Peter': Ok, buddy. (Peter puts his hands on the toilet seat, and Stewie slams the toilet seat on his hands) *'Peter': Maybe you don't have to pee. Hey, I ought just give you some beer, it goes right through you. *'Stewie': Wonderful. And while we're at it, we can light up a doobie and watch porn. *'Peter': Y...Yeah? "Ready, Willing, and Disabled" :(Stewie, Chris, Meg fight about the missing $26) *'Stewie:' Knuckles (Chris), get the handbag. *'Chris: '''Right, boss. *grab Meg's purse* *'Stewie:' Whoever wants the money, raise your hand! *Chris and Meg raise their hands* "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein" :(Stewie wakes up, seeing Meg) *'Stewie': Aah! What the hell are you doing?! *'Meg': Watching you sleep, cutie-pie. *'Stewie': Why you sick, sick moo-cow! Well, you shall watch no more! ''*Smashes Megs glasses against the wall* "You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives" *'Stewie: '''Chris, grab his legs. I gotta bury this thing. *'Chris:' But I... *'Stewie: GRAB HIS LEGS! *Chris grabs Matthew McConaughey's legs* "North by North Quahog” :(Brian is driving home with Stewie and Chris in the car; Stewie is complaining to Chris about him being found with vodka by the principal) *'''Stewie: Did you think you were cool? Did you think you were grown up? Hmm? *'Chris': I didn’t drink any of it! Besides, Jake Tucker gave it to me. *'Stewie': Well, we gonna have a talk with Jake’s parents tomorrow after my burping. *'Brian': In the mean time, you’re grounded, Chris. *'Chris': Come on! That sucks! *'Stewie': Do you want us to pull over? *'Chris': I don’t care what you do! *'Stewie': Oh, we'll pull over. We'll pull over. (To Brian) Pull over. (Brian pulls over). :… *'Stewie': (smacking Chris’s bottom) ''If your teachers ask about your bruises, what will you tell them? *'Chris': ''(tearfully) I got hit by a baseball! "Untitled Griffin Family History" *'Chris': You've never seen the ending? *'Stewie': How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?' ' *'Lois': I agree with Stewie, it's not really fair. "Love, Blactually" :(Stewie wants to talk to Loretta, but Brian won't let him) *'Stewie': Just let me do all the talking. *'Brian': No, I think I can communicate with her better. She's only going to get the gist of what you're saying. *'Stewie': Really? Isn't she one of those people outside the family who can understand me? *'Brian': No, I think because of Cleveland she's close enough to the main cast that it might be a little weird. *'Stewie': Really? *'Camera man': We're filming! *'Stewie': Okay, okay! Alright, alright! Sorry, sorry.(to Brian) Ring the doorbell. "Family Goy" *'Stewie': I'm not going to no Jewish school! Sitting around all day with a bunch of short, hairy guys. I'll feel like I'm on the forest moon of Endor. *'Chris': Didn't you make that joke the other day? *'Stewie': Oh, yeah I just wasn't sure if everybody had... had heard. "Big Man on Hippocampus" *'Meg: '''It was a joke! I was just making a joke! *'Stewie:' That's your sense of humor? *'Meg: I was just kidding! God! "Brian Griffin's House of Payne" :(Peter makes Stewie leave him alone) *'''Stewie: '''What? Why, Rupert? Why do you want to play in the basement? *'''Peter: (voicing Rupert) I don't know, I just feel like there might be some fun stuff down there. "Dial Meg for Murder:" :And while not a clear cut case of understanding, we have a bit of sarcasm from Stewie in it. *'Meg:' What'd you say, Brian? *'Brian:' Oh, I-I was just picking up on something Lois said. What-what was it? What’d you say, Lois? Something about Meg being a freak? *'Lois:' Oh, no, I didn't say anything. Uh, Peter said something about Meg, which I completely disagree with. *'Peter:' That-that-that wasn't me. Stewie was really laying into Meg about something. *'Chris:' Yeah, it was Stewie. *'Lois:' Definitely Stewie. *'Stewie:' Oh, so now everyone understands me. "The Big Bang Theory" :(Brian jokes that Stewie wants to order the guy on the magazine cover) * Stewie: Really? Why would I order your ex-boyfriend? * Chris: Haha! He got you Brian! "And Then There Were Fewer" *'Stewie': Heh, my secret room's bigger. *'Herbert': Mine's smaller. Brian can always understand him though, and they often have conversations between themselves, including musical numbers, arguments and bad advice. Strangers such as Connie DiMico can also understand Stewie, as can Brian's girlfriend (of several episodes) Jillian Russell-Wilcox. Lauren Conrad is even able to understand him. On the rare occasions he speaks directly to Meg or Chris they also sometimes reply. In "Extra Large Medium", Chris has a lot of dialogue with Stewie that make it plain that he is able to understand him. The episodes "Stewie Kills Lois" and "Lois Kills Stewie" are the only episodes where he is really spoken to properly by all family members, but these two episodes are somewhat non-canonical, as they were simulations but still had a strong possibility of happening. Stewie complained that they were only NOW interested in him since they had found out he was an evil genius, whereas the previous week Peter had ignored his macaroni picture of an owl. In "Chitty Chitty Death Bang", Stewie talks to the cult leader, who understands fully what he says, not seeing him until seconds before Stewie kills him. When asked this question in an interview, Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, stated that Stewie is really talking, but most of the family just ignore him in the way people generally ignore things said by very small children. He also said that Brian can understand him. Sexuality He shows that he does not have a complete knowledge of sexual intercourse as shown in "Chick Cancer" where he says he thinks sex is "a kind of cake.", and once was horrified upon accidentally catching his parents in the act of lovemaking. Even by age 35 Stewie does not know how to have sex, although in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story he changes the future after seeing it as a baby. Stewie is seemingly a closet bisexual. A continuous jokes during the series involves Stewie and homosexuality. Stewie also has seem frequently flirting with male characters in the series. Still, he has seemed attracted to female characters. The more realistic situations this is, whenever the character of Stewie interest involves is of his age involves girls. Some rare times Stewie showed repulse of homosexuality. Also, in several occasions Stewie showed interest in Brian. Stewie has some kind of romantic or sexual fantasy involving his stuffed toy, Rupert. Stewie sees him as an athletic man with a teddy bear's head. Stewie had several times referred to him as gay. In "Excellence in Broadcasting", Stewie accidentally discovers masturbation, and begins to fantasize about being tied to his crib while a muscular Brian and Rupert kiss. In "Fifteen Minutes of Shame" he said that he didn't really like women and thought it would be interesting if it turned out he was gay. In a canceled episode named "Queer Is Stewie?", he came out of the closet. This never saw the light of day due to the show's cancellation. The episode was later redone and expanded to have Stewie finding his future self. Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, has stated in an interview that "He originally began as this diabolical villain, but then we delved into the idea of his confused sexuality. We all feel that Stewie is almost certainly gay, and he’s in the process of figuring it out for himself. We haven’t ever really locked into it because we get a lot of good jokes from both sides, but we treat him oftentimes as if we were writing a gay character." Stewie's side of his bisexual nature changes from episode to episode. For example, in "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)" he was gay, and in "Dammit Janet!" he is straight. Sometimes he shows signs of both in one episode like "Ocean's Three and a Half" and "Family Gay." Seth MacFarlane has speculated that when Stewie grows up, he will ultimately become either a homosexual or a repressed, unhappy heterosexual. In "The Thin White Line", Stewie sings to a ship full of sailors: "Well, despite your point of view I can thrill a girl or two- But I'd rather get it on with you!" Also there is a quote after escaping the cops, while dressed as a girl in "Boys Do Cry" :Brian: How you holding up Stewie? :Stewie: Umm, I feel right Brian, I feel right. There is also a scene in "Deep Throats" that suggests he's attracted to Brian. He makes a similar drunken admission in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. In the same episode he asks Brian to shave his "coin purse". He even tried to trick Brian into having sex with him, in the episode "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)". He has also kissed Brian several times on the show. In "No Meals on Wheels", he is tricked by Brian into yelling "Yahtzee" and he does it in a feminine way. In "No Chris Left Behind" he says he hopes to join a group of gay men. In "The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou", Stewie had a panic about having cancer, and wanted to have his list of things to be done before he died to be completed. One of those things was to learn how to ballroom dance with Brian. In that part, Stewie dressed himself in a pink dress and ear-rings. After they have danced for a while, Stewie whispers, "I love you." to Brian. In "Love, Blactually", Stewie sucks his finger after "accidentally" putting it into Brian's mouth. In "420", Brian asks if Stewie can give him a sample of his pee (to trick Joe, who wanted to use the sample to check if Brian was smoking marijuana). Stewie looks very happy to accomplish Brian's request, and even gets naked to do it (although he really doesn't have to). In "Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?" he and Brian were hypnotized into kissing each other, but doesn't remember even though he says he tasted crotch. In the episode, "Saving Private Brian", he and Brian kiss to get kicked out of the army. Then while kissing another gay man who happens to be an officer comes up to them and says, :Gay man: "Any room for one more?" :Stewie: "Hell yeah!" Brian then slaps him. In "The Former Life of Brian", Stewie develops a strong crush on Brian's son Dylan: :Dylan: Stewie, why are you naked? :Stewie: Oh, just a little something I do around here once a week called naked tea party. Got my teacup here, now all I need is a teabag. That something that interests you my friend? :Dylan: You're weird. :Stewie: And you're attractive; now take your fucking pants off! In "We Love You, Conrad" Stewie, revealed his alter ego, Desiree. Showing that he had many boyfriends including one named Lee. In "Chick Cancer", during the ending credits, Stewie said that he could totally get into being gay. In "Not All Dogs Go To Heaven" he is asked if he is queer to which he replies "probably". In "Three Kings" Stewie takes the role of Annie Wilkes in which he shows strong sexual attraction to Brian who he fondled. In "Screwed the Pooch", he says he likes to go to half nude (shirtless) disco themed gay bars to relax. Similar hints are given during other episodes. In "Family Gay", when he tells Brian about the straight camp, a place where gay people go to become straight, he shows him a folder about it. When Brian notices that it's dated last year, Stewie looks uncomfortable and says that it was just something that he found in the street. In "Patriot Games", he becomes sexually aroused after seeing Tom Brady showering. In "FOX-y Lady" he eats a phallus-like banana and enjoys it. In "Stewie Kills Lois" before he begins to board Peter and Lois's cruise ship, he says to Brian, "An hour from now I'll be surrounded by sea men (Semen). Sperm whales and sea men." He then notices a bird and says, "Oooh, a swallow." In "Stew-Roids" he is shown playing with female dolls and talking like a woman. In "Road to the Multiverse" Brian and Stewie arrive in a universe full of gays and he says "Love it". He also goes to a universe where everyone has two heads and it shows him kissing himself. In "Ocean's Three and a Half" Stewie confesses his attraction to Brian Adams at the end. In "Brian's Got a Brand New Bag" Stewie's crib rolls out the door and on the lawn and the sprinklers come on showering him and he says "Mmm-hmmm Shia, Give me what you got." In "Road to Germany", Stewie was flying a plane and made some odd gestures at a passing pilot. However when the pilot had his shirt off and was rubbing his nipple, Stewie looked stunned as if he had gone too far. Also, when asked what qualified him to fly, he responded "I have a British accent, I'm possibly homosexual, I never brush my teeth, and my wife is ghaaastly." When Peter starts collecting horse sperm in Family Gay, he warns the family that some refrigerator containers contain sperm instead of milk. Stewie stops for a moment and looks at his cereal, then slowly continues to eat. In "Brian & Stewie", Stewie told Brian to lick his diaper clean and to lick his ass, and especially wanted Brian to lick his ass, and later admitted he loved him. In "Death Lives", Lois ties Stewie to a flag pole, and while she was dragging him up, his bottom dragged against the side of the pole, at which he tells Lois to go slower and that he must do it again while no one was watching. In "Baby Not On Board" he is horrified at the sight of a nude woman's vagina in a pornographic magazine, even siezing a machine gun, firing upon and obliterating the offending publication. Later in the episode he admits to disabling the parental lock on the TV and watching "so ''much porn". The Straight Side of Stewie There are also many references to him being straight, as seen in "Dammit Janet!", where he falls in love with a female toddler. Stewie is shown to hate gay people in some episodes like "Road to Rhode Island" where he asks why everyone comes out to him, and "Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington" he says "not ass you pervert save it for the interns". Stewie has twice had a relationship with another young toddler/beauty queen named Olivia. He also became sexually aroused while watching the female cheerleaders undress. Stewie also came close to having sex with Connie DiMico in "McStroke". In ''Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, his older self had sex with a girl named Fran for 8 seconds - then cried for 40 minutes. Stewie also became furious when he discovered that his future self was a virgin. At first sight, Stewie was also instantly attracted to Jillian. He is also easily annoyed by Jasper, Brian's gay cousin. Stewie falls in love with his babysitter in "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter". In "Breaking Out is Hard to Do" he complains that there was not a single female baby in Asiantown. Also, in "Ocean's Three and a Half", Stewie falls madly in love with Susie Swanson, the Swanson's new baby, and tries to impress her with a song but by the time the episode was over he had lost interest in her only to fall in love with Bryan Adams. Stewie also has a running gag in the series where he throws "Sexy Parties" that involve many women in tight and revealing outfits. Overall, these scenes indicate that Stewie is clueless as for what "sexy" means, but rather imagines parties suited for toddlers: laughing, running around a-la-Benny Hill or playing Red Light, Green Light. In "Mr. Saturday Knight", Stewie was at a funeral and was looking at all the girls and was counting which female babies he would "do" or "wouldn't do". In "Sibling Rivalry", he is seen with a girl, assumed to be his girlfriend - even to the point of kissing. In "Bango Was His Name Oh" after Stewie encounters his future self, he tackles his double and repeatedly shouts "Fran"!, implying he enjoyed seeing his adult self have sexual relations with Fran and did not want to mess up his presumed future with her, or likely have a better relationship with her. In "Tales of a Third Grade Nothing", he and Brian (with Frank Sinatra Jr.) are seen with New Bedford and her friend at the club. In "The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire", he has sex with a doll he takes for a female infant. In "Blind Ambition", in a cutaway, he tries to check out female babies with his pimped up big wheel in the playground. In "The Juice Is Loose", he seems to be at least accepting of homosexuality, as when Joe and Cleveland make out due to a dare) Stewie comes from his bedroom because Peter and Quagmire are making a big deal over the fact and says "Hey! Keep it down! It's just two guys making out, relax!" Stewie is most likely confused about his sexual orientation because he is only one year old, being the reason he acts gay in some episodes Stewie has a horrified reaction to seeing the online video 2 girls, 1 cup, but after the initial shock starts wondering if there is a video of two guys doing the same thing, eventually suggesting Brian to look it up. In "Family Gay" he quoted "Homosexuality is wrong". In "Go, Stewie, Go!", Stewie falls in love with his co-star, Julie. He announces "BILF" (Baby I'd like to fuck) at the approach of a female infant in "And I'm Joyce Kinney". Stewie falls for Penelope in "Mr. and Mrs. Stewie", believing he has found his soul mate. Despite a major fight over Brian, Stewie gets a kiss and a smile from Penelope after defeating her. He notes he will tell his friends he "banged" her. Stewie's head None of the other Griffin family members have Stewie's uniquely shamed head. In "Stuck Together, Torn Apart", Stewie did have a head shape similar to Meg's until he was bouncing on the bed and hit the ceiling, thus flattening it into the familiar football shape, however, this was a cutscene, and may have been exaggerated. Also, in "Chitty Chitty Death Bang", there were flashbacks of Stewie in Lois' womb and the moment he was born, and his head was already like that. Also, his half-brother Bertram has a similar head shape. It is possible that they may have inherited the shape of their heads from Nate Griffin's son, but then questions could be raised as to where that child acquired the strange shape. Another explanation could be that the head shape was inherited from Leonardo Da Vinci, Stewie's ancestor, who in "The Big Bang Theory" had the same head shape. A genetic mutation may have been the explanation for the irregular skull. Stewie has also demonstrated an ability to rotate his head into impossible positions, as seen in "North by North Quahog" and "Stewie Kills Lois". He has apparently developed a method of curing this as he keeps the phone number of an acupuncturist ready in his pocket, in "Stewie Kills Lois" Stewie asks Brian "Oh god, I've really screwed myself up here. Listen could you reach into my pocket and get the number for that acupuncturist?" O.J. Simpson and "Chris" threw Stewie's head like a football in "The Juice Is Loose". In "Extra Large Medium" Stewie has to dig a hole to put part of his head in, so that he could sleep on his side. In "Brian Griffin's House of Payne" Stewie fell down the stairs (Courtesy of Meg and Chris) he received a giant gash on his head. Stewie's Inventions *Death Has a Shadow - Mind Control Device - Used on a judge to save Peter from jail. *Death Has a Shadow - Laser Gun (disguised as a sandwich) - used as another attempt to kill Lois. *I Never Met the Dead Man - Weather Device - Used to control the world's weather (and destroy broccoli). *Chitty Chitty Death Bang - Carbonite Freeze Gun - Used on security guard that froze him for approximately 10 years. *Mind Over Murder - Time Machine - Stewie moved time forward to bypass the pain of teething, but was forced to move time backwards when the machine's schematics became public. *The Story on Page One - Hypnotic Control Device - A device used to harness the size and strength of Chris. *Brian Does Hollywood - Mass Hypnosis Device - Used to control the unsuspecting public. *Emission Impossible - In order to keep Lois and Peter from having another baby he created two machines: **Peter-Bot - a robotic version of Peter that would replace him in the bed. **Micro-Ship - A battle cruiser that shrank to the size of a cell, and was armed with phaser cannons to battle Peter's sperm cells; the ship's computer was voiced by Majel Barrett, widow of "Star Trek" creator Gene Roddenberry and voice of the ship's computer in all the Star Trek series. *Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother? - Tried to control the minds of a basketball crowd by taking the part of a head cheerleader. *The Courtship of Stewie's Father - The little super villain makes a hovering drill machine to kill Lois, but it fails. *Patriot Games - Stewie Invents his own version of the M2 Flamethrower, it is smaller, and it is blue, and works to a deadly and very painful level. *Sibling Rivalry - Stewie gets into a war with his sibling, Bertram which involves his personal fleet of Stealth Bomber Jets (although Bertram has a fleet of helicopters at his disposal). *Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story - Created robot lookalikes of himself and Brian so they could leave and find his real father - Stewie's was believable but Brian's reflected what Stewie thought of him. They reappear in "Road to Rupert" and "Road to the North Pole". *Road to Rupert - Creates a pair of skis with rockets on them that can even produce a large tea room and butler, so he can get his teddy bear Rupert back. *Stewie Kills Lois - Stewie uses a simulation machine to see what it would be like if he killed Lois and took over the world. *Lois Kills Stewie - The family finds a body switching orb that works on Lois and Peter. *Road to Germany - Stewie created another time machine which Mort was mislead and thought it was a restroom. *Not All Dogs Go To Heaven - Using blue prints he received at a Star Trek convention, he made a transporter to beam the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation into his room, to ask them a a few questions. *Road to the Multiverse - He built a multiverse traveler. *Quagmire's Baby - Clone machine to create deformed clones of himself and Brian named Bitch-Stewie and Bitch-Brian. *The Big Bang Theory - Inadvertently causes the creation of the Universe. *American Dad vs. Family Guy Kung-Fu II - He builds a robot walker complete with machine guns, lasers, rockets, a force field, and a metallic orb that can explode and kill his opponents. *His lair is a large room hidden behind his bedroom wall and opened up when a baseball bat in his toy bin is moved. Relatives See: List of Griffin and Pewterschmidt ancestors, Griffin Family His enemies *The Man in White - The "professional" who Stewie thought was supposed to return him to Lois' womb on his birthday. He was assassinated by Stewie who lured him into their house and disintegrated him. *Bertram- His half brother and single worst nemesis who have fought several times with Stewie coming out victorious. Bertram usually gets out of his losses by admitting defeat or yelling "MOMMY!" *Brad - The little deviant who was the signature antagonist against Stewie during swimming at the quahog community pool. *Charlie the Bully - A bully who stole his trike, later forced to give it back under a death threat, the two never saw each other again. *Connie DiMico - A popular girl who dated him and later dumped and humiliated him, he took revenge by framing her for pedophilia and getting her arrested. *Lois - Second most antagonistic archenemy he has ever known, tried to kill her on several occasions, seems to have become less evil and gotten on better terms with her and has not shown any hatred of her since The Juice Is Loose but may have resurfaced in And Then There Were Fewer. *Olivia Fuller - Stewie and Olivia were rivals in Theater Arts. They made a truce to avoid being expelled and became famous. The pact was violated and ended due to Stewie blaming errors on Olivia, they split up until Stewie became infatuated with Olivia after meeting her again and finding her more mature. They soon wed (Kinda). Stewie caught Olivia cheating and locked her into a cardboard house and lit the house on fire. *Penelope - Both of Stewie and Penelope have the same fascination of weapons.When she was tells Stewie he has to kill Brian since thinks that she was a bad influence on him and they should break up but Stewie hesitates and she later said she was going to kill him.Stewie foils the her attempts of killing Brian and later fights her and gains the upper hand and she agrees to leave Brian alone. She kisses Stewie before she sends him to the lamp post. Murders committed by Stewie Stewie could be considered a mass murderer. *The Man in White was killed by Stewie's disintegration ray in a case of mistaken identity. Stewie mistakenly believed Lois's obstetrician was after him in "Chitty Chitty Death Bang". He had originally planned to hire a mercenary army in Nicaragua, however his plan was hampered by airport staff who would not allow an infant to fly alone. *Vern and Johnny - Shot with a M9 Berreta after their music had annoyed Stewie to a breaking point; feeling the need to commit homicide in "Saving Private Brian". *He locked Jeremy in the trunk of Brian's car, tied up in "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter". By the time Stewie remembered, Jeremy had died of asphyxiation. *Matthew McConaughey vengefully asked for Stewie to get back at him for sending his plane into the water in "You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives". Stewie immediately shoots him with a crossbow. *Several Small Children - In "Dammit Janet!", he is seen locking a small child underneath a sand pit, the group of children probably die of thirst, starvation or other ways of death. *Old Lady - In "Lethal Weapons" after being annoyed by an old lady for calling him cute, he puts on a devil suit and frightens her giving her a heart attack. *Colin Farrell - In "Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air", he is seen getting annoyed by a man with a T-Shirt with the word "Phresh" on it and wearing a wool cap and ripped jeans, Stewie then pulls out a rocket launcher and destroys him . *A Random Hooker - In a deleted scene of "Chick Cancer", Stewie pulls out a sniper rifle and shoots a hooker coming out of Quagmire's house. This is considered non-canon. *Ms. Hobson - In "The Courtship of Stewie's Father", he aims to shoot Lois with a crossbow, but accidentally shoots Mrs. Hobosn instead after Lois moves out of the way. *New Brian - in "The Man with Two Brians" Stewie, upset and possibly heartbroken that Brian left, tries to convince new Brian to leave, but after he tells him that he humped Rupert, Stewie loses it and murders him with an axe, dumps his corpse in the garbage, and forges a suicide note. Stewie drags a bloody garbage bag away and we than see Peter reading a note that goes "So that's why I took an axe, chopped myself up and dumped my remains in the garbage". *Unnamed power guy - Stewie decided to destroy a house he and brain were trying to fix up in "Peter's Daughter" to get back their money on the explanation that they were hired to try and do the impossible but they forgot they had a power guy in there helping them, so he died in the explosion. *Several sperm - Stewie goes into Peter's body and murders his sperm in "Emission Impossible". *Denise Crosby was shot and killed by Stewie with an energy weapon in "Not All Dogs Go To Heaven" after she insults his age. He had kidnapped the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation to ask them a few questions after aggravation at a convention. *The Grady Twins from The Shining were blown up with a missile launcher in Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater. They were later ran over by Stewie's Big Wheel in the opening sequence of "PTV". *Vanessa Griffin - In the Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story segment "Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure", Lois sent him on a mission to prevent her from ever marrying Chris, so he interrupts their wedding by blowing her up with a missile launcher. *Timeline 1 Stewie Griffin- In the Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story segment "Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure"- The Stewie that had been followed throughout the movie was vaporized by pre-trauma Stewie, who was picked up by Lois soon after. *Reporter - In Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story',' Stewie snaps his neck after he asked whether ''Futurama would be revived.'' *Unidentified Man - A man he denies killing by jamming a Lincoln log into his temple and burying him in the backyard in "E. Peterbus Unum", he tells the family if they find it, they can give him the Lincoln log back, because he needs it for building something. *Mort Goldman- In "Road to Germany" after returning from Germany in World War II, Stewie tells Brian that they came back to the time before Mort used Stewie's time machine. Stewie then pushed Mort into the time machine and threw a grenade in it, killing post-trip Mort, and destroying the time machine, This prevents Mort of the present from going back in time in the first place. Mort's murder, like the Stewie murdering himself from the future, happened as a result of a temporal paradox. *Three Nazi Officers - In "Road to Germany" he tells them to come in the alley and have a talk with them. Punching sounds and shots fired from a ray gun are heard and he gives their uniforms to Brian, Mort, and himself. *Diane Simmons - In "And Then There Were Fewer", he noticed that she was about to kill Lois, so he stopped her by shooting her with a long-range sniper rifle. After Lois thanked her anonymous savior, Stewie, with his sniper, said only he is allowed to kill Lois. *Bertram - Shoots him with a crossbow in "The Big Bang Theory" after Bertram attempts to erase his existence by killing Stewie's ancestor Leonardo da Vinci. *Charles Yamamoto - Gives him a heart attack in "Killer Queen". *Prince Faisal - Shoots him in the head in "Leggo My Meg-O" while he proposes to Meg. As all events in "Stewie Kills Lois" and "Lois Kills Stewie" are non-canon, all deaths during the episode are non-canon as well: *Cleveland Brown - In "Lois Kills Stewie", while Stewie holds his immediate family hostage, Cleveland comes to visit, only to be shot instantly by Stewie with an M1911, so nobody would know the situation. *The Cast of Entourage - During Stewie's song "I've Got a Little List", he sings, "And Every Bleeding Members of the Cast of Entourage", he then presses a button and the cast falls onto a bunch of spikes. *The Guy Behind the News Reporter Waving Like a Fool - During Stewie's song I've Got a Little List, he runs him over. *The Guy at Thanksgiving Blaming Tryptophan - During Stewie's song I've Got a Little List, he stabs the man in the eye with a bone. *The Asian line cutter - During Stewie's song "I've Got a Little List", he sings "There's the Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line", he then pushes him onto a rail track and is ran over by the ride. *Pool Pee'er - During the song "I've Got a Little List", he unleashed a swarm of piranhas on him. *Plane's Farting Fat Guy - He shoots him with a pistol, causing him to get sucked out of the plane when the bullet ricochets and breaks a window. *Camouflaged Stinker - Stewie opens a trapdoor and is impaled on spikes. *Girl Who Doesn't Get Caddyshack Jokes - He drops a TV on her head. *Bill O'Reilly - He complains about his acne, and smashes his face with a giant magnifying glass. Non Canon Appearances Stewie Kills Lois/Lois Kills Stewie In Stewie Kills Lois, Stewie puts his no-so-secret ambition into action and plans on finally murdering Lois. He kills her on a cruise ship and Stewie goes on to gain access of the C.I.A's supercomputer and eventually becomes the "President of the World". Lois (who wasn't really dead) returns and tracks Stewie to the Oval Office and after a violent battle kills her evil son. However, Stewie was using a simulator, to see what would happen if he finally did kill Lois. Brian remarks that the "dream sequence" that just happened would "really piss a lot of people off", thus revealing that the episodes were non-canon and has not happened. Future In one episode Stewie is seen doing pot in the future. One of his two friends says, "Great pot, Stewie," and Stewie replies that he got it from the housekeeper. However, this is a fantasy shot, so it is uncertain whether or not it is canon. Another shows Stewie as the effeminate male friend of the popular girls during high school. He says that he has killed 7 babies. In another possible future, seen in "Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure" he has a 9 to 5 job at Quahog Circuit Shack at 35 years old. He never had sex, killed Lois or took over the world. However, this may have been averted by younger Stewie's intervention. Other appearances *Stewie has appeared as a Spokesperson for Snapvine.com, speaking as Darth Vader and asking users what they would blow up with the Death Star, while promoting the Lucas-MacFarlane project Blue Harvest. *Stewie appeared in a short clip on the 20th annual MTV Video Music Awards insulting rapper 50 Cent, which has become a viral video circulating on numerous online services. Stewie, with blocks spelling out "MTV", Rupert and a baby toy in the background, reads some words from the song "Wanksta" in a comical voice, then commenting: "Well, good luck finding the subject and predicate of that run-on sentence! And what the bloody hell does he mean, "we don't go nowhere without toast"? Now, you listen to me, Mr. Cent. If you want to make it in this business, lay off the doobie!". He then pulls out a hitherto concealed sign reading "Stewie for Governor". *Stewie's face, on a stick, can be seen in the background of the ESPN talk show Pardon the Interruption. *During the 2006 Canadian Election Royal Canadian Air Farce ran their own election with Paul Martin, Stephen Harper, Jack Layton (all leaders of the major parties that election), Jim Harris (whose Green Party, while still minor, was gaining public attention) and "Stewie from Family Guy." Stewie ended up winning with 39 percent of the votes. *Stewie has appeared on the MSNBC news program Countdown with Keith Olbermann, often introducing (or regressing) news stories regarding Bill O'Reilly. On the May 24, 2006 show, he introduced O'Reilly as Worst Person in the World (a regular Olbermann segment) on the program. Stewie said, "Oh, wait, Bill, hold still. Allow me to soil myself on you. Victory is mine!" This has been shortened to just "Today's Worst Person in the World." Stewie announced June 1 "Countdown presents: 'Factor Fiction', wherein we expose that bastard Bill O'Reilly lying again." He then repeated what he had said above. This has become the norm on O'Reilly segments most of the time. On June 5, 2006, he introduced "Breaking News" about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and American Idol by saying "Oh here we go. Probably some story about Britney Spears or, knowing Keith, some baseball card." He also did an animation saying "Breaking News. Oh, this should be rich, must be something of a monumental earth shattering importance or they wouldn't have that Earth there shattering. See it shattering? It's Earth Shattering Breaking News. Oh, do tell me! Tell me, tell me!" *Stewie (along with Brian, the latter with no speaking roles) has also appeared on the unaired short of My Name Is Earl called Bad Karma, in which he influences Earl to get even with everyone who's wronged him. Earl watches him on TV instead of Carson Daly. This short appears on the Season 1 DVD. *Stewie was an announcer of the 2006 Spike Video Game Awards. He specifically told Samuel L. Jackson, that he has not seen Snakes on a plane nor will he consider watching it. Prompting Samuel to respond saying "I am not afraid to hit a baby." *Stewie and Brian appeared at the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards performing "You Can Find It on TV" poking fun at networks and current shows on the air, while also poking fun at the new shows premiering that fall. The song was based on "The FCC Song" from the episode "PTV". *Stewie-in parade balloon form- appeared in a commercial for Coca-Cola that aired during Super Bowl XLII. During the course of the commercial, the Stewie balloon and the Underdog balloon fight over a floating bottle of Coke. During the course of the battle the bottle floats away from them and into the waiting arms of a Charlie Brown balloon. *In May 2009, Stewie appeared as a repeated hallucination seen by Agent Seeley Booth in the Bones episode, "The Critic in in the Cabernet." *At the 2009 Emmys, Stewie appeared on the E! Network Red Carpet preshow where he announced he was starting a 'clothing optional summer camp.' *On Late Night With David Letterman on Monday, December 21st, 2009, Stewie Griffin presented "The Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Child". *At the 2010 Emmys on August 29th, Stewie appeared in a live-action skit with the cast of Modern Family.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaq675xmG9w *Stewie is frequently seen as part of Family Guy merchandise, often as a stuffed toy given away as a prize at Dave and Buster's and amusement park and state fair games. This is parodied in The Cleveland Show episode "Aint Nothin' But Mutton Busting", with the stuffed Stewie admitting his homosexuality. Category:Griffin Family Category:Jewish characters